Now It's For Real (Not really)

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XP

on November 2, 2012

can i just say im so thankful i have this blog, i dont know what i would do without it.  so i think i said earlier im pretty sure i have borderline personality disorder (im gonna get tested soon)  and that makes things really difficult for me sometimes.  ive been in a new relationship with a guy over the last three weeks almost month, and at first it was really great, but now…..i dont kno wat my emotions are.  i cant trust my emotions caus im never sure if its really me or the bpd raging up.  so im either completely committed and happy with our relationship or i just wanna cut it off completely. its horribly confusing.  and im so ashamed because i think i might like his friend but im not sure when im with him i like him so much but when im not its just like wy cant i stop thinking about this other guy its totally ridiculous and add that to the fact iv had two big anxiety attacks over the last two days and i feel like im about to jump out a window.  im a horrible person. i deserve to die.

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