Now It's For Real (Not really)

Just another site


on October 24, 2012

do NOT talk to me about being lonely, you have no clue of the word.  you want to talk to me about how lonely you are?  go on an island and live there for a month by yourself, then maybe you can understand half of what lonely is.  or try what happened to me. try being constantly alone for a whole summer with nothing but your thoughts and the animals for company.  try having human contact for 2 hours a night and then one day a week maybe five hours, but that doesn’t even count because they’re not even looking at you when they are there anyway.  try convincing yourself that you like being alone and succeeding. now you don’t want to go anywhere, do anything, be with anybody.  wait until you start hearing your own mind talk to you. when you forget what it’s like to be happy and just get lost in the days of melancholy until you don’t care if you go to sleep and never wake up, and when you are with people you just feel too crowded and blocked in and the voice is still there so you can’t properly focus on almost anything.   go to school and all your blinders are off, so you see everything for exactly how it is and there’s no imaginary world for you anymore.  see your friends and not be able to place anything they did to show that they deeply cared what happened to you.  realize they are completely oblivious to the ice in your eyes.  accept that you are alone in this world and there is nothing that you or anyone else can do about it.  fight every single battle you have without any help. then talk to me about being lonely.


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